On quiet afternoons together, Coco and I love to watch Roseanne. Sometimes we get into heated discussions about which episode is best, whether or not it was smart to cut George Clooney from the cast, and which one of us more strongly wants to kick DJ's ass. But no matter how much we argue, Coco has a short list of non-negotiables that I truly cannot deny.
- Aunt Jackie is the most underrated character in television history.
- Darleen is a personal hero, because she is dark and moody just like me.
- Old Becky may be a whiny freak with a bowl cut, but *new Becky* is a turd.
- No man is more man than Dan Conner.
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