"Uhmuhguh. (belch) Ughhhh."
Coco sat hunched over in the corner of her cage, moaning and groaning.
"Honey pie! What's the matter? Are you not feeling well?" I moved in closer.
"BACK. THE HELL. UP!" Coco yelled.
"Ok, ok!" I put my hands up and took a few steps back. "Just tell me what I can do to help you."
She slowly lifted her head and peered at me from behind a fallen tuft of fur.
"I entered a drinking competition against myself last night...and I won. I drank four glasses of red wine, a whiskey on the rocks, a Tequila Sunrise, three espresso shots to recharge, and finished up the evening with a solo case race." She breathed very heavily.
"Poor baby. I think that was waaay too much alcohol for you to drink." I reached out to lower the blinds. "Maybe a nap will help you feel better."
Coco remained still. "Didn't you hear me? I said 'I won.' This is the greatest day of my entire life. Do me a solid and empty the contents from your favorite coffee mug, and bring it to me so I can throw up in it."
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