My landlord finally replaced our old washing machine today. Yes! Victory! After a week and a half of not having one, I was excited to work down the piles of worn items.
I carried two armfuls of blankets and towels out of the dryer and started folding. Everything smelled so nice! I put the towels away in the closet and came back to find Coco nestled into my warm, clean bedspread.
"Well hello my sunshine! I bet that feels nice and cozy. I'm not sure how you got up there but thank you for saying hello." I bent down, rubbed the warm cloth against her cheeks and gave her a big Eskimo kiss.
She sat, unaffected. "It smells ok, I guess. Can we go to the movies later? I'm in the mood for popcorn, and that Channing Tatum guy is h.o.t."
I sighed. "Well Cokes, I'm going to have to find a place in Maryland. I'll do my best but it is your fault we've been banned from every movie theater in DC and Virginia."
She snapped back. "Hey! You know I don't go to the movies without my flask. And so what if I have a tendency to piss all over the seats. I didn't want to miss any of the good parts!"
"Yeah, but Coco...remember when you stole the usher's mini flashlight and bopped a small child over the head with it?"
"He wouldn't shut up. Plus, his laughter annoyed me."
"And the time you snuck into the projection room and made obscene paw puppets?"
"That movie sucked. I made it better."
"AND the time you bit that woman's neck during the vampire movie? I'm still paying for her hospital bills."
"I wanted to create a sense of realism," Coco said. "But yeah, I remember those times. Can't a girl enjoy herself at the damn cinema? Everyone just over reacted. I'll try to be better this time, but no guarantees."
"Ok, baby. I believe you. I'll call the AMC theater in Baltimore and find times for 22 Jump Street. I love you my little puffy."
She closed her eyes very tightly and shook her shoulders. A few moments later she opened her eyes and sighed. "Sounds good to me as long as you buy me a jumbo popcorn with extra butter. Also, you're gonna wanna wash this again. I have diarrhea."