"Ok, don't be mad," Coco said when I got into my car and found her chilling on the dashboard.
"Cokes, first of all why is my 'check tire' light on? No wait. I mean first of all, why are you in my car? And second, well, third why is there a $300 ticket on the drivers seat and a knife in the cup holder?"
Her eyes were glassed over and the car reeked of tequila. Two empty Patron bottles were laying on the floor mats.
"I needed to get out of the house for a while, so I took our car to the liquor store. But then I kinda lost control and sort of hit a parked cop car."
I gently squeezed each of her paws to make sure there was no damage. Thankfully she was fine.
"Well, I'm glad you're not injured, baby girl. But that still doesn't explain the tire situation."
She burped and stretched her paws out onto the steering wheel. "Luckily I had the windows down, so when Officer Dumbo got out of his car, I hopped out through the passenger side and slashed the front tire with this knife I found. You know, to throw him off my scent."
"Coco. How could you think that would help anything? You just destroyed my car."
"Our car." Her eyes began to close.
"No girl, my car." I scooped her up and wrapped her in her towel. "I hope you know that you're going to have to pay me back for this, Coco." I pulled another ticket for the tow truck out from behind my windshield wiper. "For all of this."
She nuzzled up to me and licked under my chin. "Not a chance."