"Gather my black robes, the white candles and for god's sake lower the damn blinds." Coco barked.
I've learned not to ask many questions during these times, as I have become keenly perceptive to the preparation demands for Coco's biannual seances.
"Do you need your Ouiji board, sweet girl?" I asked.
"Of course I do, numbnuts. How else am I supposed to receive answers from the beyond?"
I grabbed Coco's items and lit a smudge stick to purify the room. The sage smoke billowed around her cage and filled the air with a lovely scent.
"Extinguish that crap. It smells like your hair when we snuggle, and it's gross," Coco snapped.
I opened a window and turned on the ceiling fan. Coco sat within a circle she had formed by pushing her litter away from her feet.
"Do you have any paint? I want to draw a pentagram." Coco held up one of my makeup brushes.
"No pentagrams, Coco." I said.
She threw the brush behind my dresser, lowered her head and chanted, "Meka leka hi meka hiney ho! With our powers combined, I'm livin' on a prayer!"
"Coco, what's with the mish-mash of pop references?" I asked.
"Honestly, I'm not sure. I was pretty much hoping lightning would strike you through the window or something like that. But screw it, this crap never works. Come close to me so I can slap you around a little bit."
I sighed. "Just lie down and take a nap cranky pants. I'll fix you a Tom Collins for your snack when you wake up."
"Fine, but how about one little slap before you go."
I leaned in and let her backhand me. Then Coco fell asleep.